Thursday, March 21, 2019

GOOD FRIENDSHIP - How to's

Thursday, March 21, 2019

GOOD FRIENDSHIP - How to's



Communication styles 

Everyone communicates differently and that is normal. Understand your friends communication preference and then you can choose to talk to them like that and not get offended. I have identified that some of my friends just don't like the sms or chatting. They are more phone people or prefer to meet face to face. Just spending time the way they prefer it. No one is perfect. But you if you look for a friend who is, its probably not going to last. I have friends who I have known for over 15 years and the one thing I realized is, understanding each other flaws and then accepting it that has been the key to our friendship. We were able to keep it real and laugh at the silliest things as well. 

  • Give your friends a break. 
  • Don't always be judgmental or conclude things without giving them enough time. 
  • Space is always imp. Don't over use that freedom as an excuse for the information. That has always been my go to way of communicating to check with the type of communication preferences my friends have. 
  • Some of my friends HATE sms/msgs. I mean absolutely hate it, so I know if they are pissed off writing the msgs in that way is not going to go down well with them. They really dont prefer for me to check on them through msgs. 


The other way I communicate would be how do they go about doing things in a more structured way. Respecting the way people like to communicate goes a long way in building a great relationship. I absolutely cant stand chatting apps. I used to like Facebook and just being in touch and if I want to hear from my friends i just prefer to call them and speak. However, I have seen too many times the over commuication can cause so much problems. I went ahead and just dont use most of the social media sites except Instagram/FB maybe, but teh rest I dont want spend my time with it. I think ts important to be able to balance your communication, You dont need to always say whats on your mind or figure our exactly what you need. Just communicate when its neccessary and be happy for it. 




Laugh a lot 

One of the best things I have loved a lot is laughing with my friends. That is the best thing ever because we would laugh about the silliest things and things that aren't even relevant. Totally irrelevant and not making any sense but just laughing our heart out. I remember sitting and so bored and as a group of friends, we just started playing some monopoly which snowballed into a laughing fest! I always think that it's always the best remedy. 


  • I always cherish them and value all those moments we went absolutely crazy fun! I always feel that its the best things we do. 
  • It is the best medicine and always one of the best things I love about my friends always. It has become one of my favorite pass times, either we watch fun movies or share funny moments and just make things light. I love that about it. 
  • The moment you feel your friendship is a drag, and not working for your benefit then its when it becomes a problem.
Some of my friends who I have known for ages is that the one thing that we have in common is how much fun we have. The best times have been just laughing for no reason and just eating a bag of chips and then theres always the best thing ever. I have the best times not when I was doing something glamorous or attending the most amazing parties, but just hanging out at my friends in a coffee shop or being with my friends in the couch and watching a movie, the best times are all about laughs and just having fun. I dont like drama or people who bring negativitiy and then if you dont do that then things get really boring and negative. Always make sure the most important thing that you do is spend time with friends and family and make the most of it. I always take time out tobe with special people no matter how busy. You can always spend time with friends and then you dont always look busy. Always make sure to be happy and content and draw those people into your life. YOu will attract more of those circumstances ever. 

Take time to do some charity work and speak to your friend and start a group

Go out and do evernts with your friends because they need to do that the most and then be able to have more fun than ever. I think the most important thing would be to understand the situation and happy to see the people who get you and understand who you are those are the friends who you need to hold on too. There was a quote I remember reading somewhere which said, if you have anyone who is  a sabotage then spend time with them. 

Trust 

The very important thing in friendship is trust and respect. We cannot go beyond if we don't have respect for each other. If you have argument make sure to be respectful and no bad words, or shouting. Disagreement doesn't have to be a bad thing. When you get something being shared to you in confidence, always make sure to keep the confidence. Even if things don't go your ways and if you don't trust your friend. It's not worth having. I have seen some of the people I've known in my life in really tough spots and have been there for them through it. Mainly because that is really when you know the friendship is real, otherwise if it's just for some situational based friendship, where you are there to help and guide temporarily then its not really the most apt type. It's seasonal, which means you are friends for that duration only and don't intend to be there for each other. Guiding each other is very important and being there for your friends is really one of the most important aspects of life. I don't ever understand how people would want to be friends like that but I have come across a few fakes and have gotten rid of them. Not worth having as friends sadly.





Bottom line is if you end up compromising for the people in your life to the point your happiness and peace of mind is compromised then you end up becoming miserable. I always love this quote by Dalai Lama " never get too excited or too unhappy about anyone or situation. It is about balance reaction in life to find your calm and center. Since I am a highly emotional person I am grateful for spirituality which has got me to focus and learn these techniques which I can use for learning to balance my emotions. 
Read article
Friday, February 15, 2019

SOCIAL MEDIA MADNESS

Friday, February 15, 2019

SOCIAL MEDIA MADNESS




I cant get over how many gadgets we have access to today. The way to have fun for me growing up was max having a bicycle that I would ride with my friends around the block! Now we have cell phones, tablets, tvs, big screens, video games and unlimited access to stuff on the internet. Its been so crazy and only after having kids have I realized how maddening it is. They cant seem to get away from them and I had to put some restrictions on the time they use it now. I also noticed there are other addictions like constantly having to look at our phones. So now, I have consciously made a decision to avoid looking at gadgets. I spend only 1-2 hours a day now going through my social media and phone. Unless otherwise necessary for other reasons.  It has become difficult thought I must admit. We have sort of given up our lives to it. I was also noticing this in my family, Iwould be talking and EVERYONE is either watching tv or looking at their phones. So I disconnected from apps like whatsapp just to let my family and friends know, i am not a 'CHATTING' person, I prefer to just catch up normally - you know face to face or talk. The more I have disconnected from social media and need to use gadgets, the more I am enjoying time outdoors and with just finding peace and not needing to know whats happening in everyone's life every minute. 

I've always started to post less, primarily on my other social media accounts too, I want to do it organically - by that I mean, only when it brings me joy. When I am really 'wanting' to do it rather than 'forcing' myself to do it because someone wants me to or becoz I have to do things for sponsors.I cut off sponsors, taken off time from blogging and updating my other sites like Instagram and Facebook and just about am spending more time just writing offline. My day to day life and spending time in nature and disconnecting my mind. I must say that has helped me refocus, get more organized and also im currently studying and helped me become more focused. Its really one of my favorite things to do now. I dont feel the need to catch up on the latest movies, or gossip, or shows or need to run out and meet friends. I have reduced everything and maybe it has to do with age. I just wish people would stop having the need to prove that they have the best life or best friends or best of everything. ITS OKAY NOT TO! Its OKAY to just chill out with a nice book and have a cup of coffee and sit in your backyard and put your feet up the chair. 





Now, I have not retreated into some mountain and writing this blog - lol....I very much love all my social media and connections and outings. I just am saying slow it down and reduce it. Spend more time with your family or friends - ask them how its going. Make some effort to just get time for yourself and doing things your way and not in some mad rush. I wish people wouldn't overdo things, obsessing over phones or gossip or watching all your various accounts all the time can be madness and take a time to quickly relax and spend time with yourself. Becoz before you know it, life will turn around and just hit you in the face and you will wonder where did life pass you by. Here are some of my round up points to the issues we face today in my perspective. 

1) GADGET OBSESSION  

The hold that social media has on us today is amazing. I have a boy who cant do without his tablet and no matter how much i try to get him away from it, my attempts are failed. Because I try to put conditions on him - do your homework, do your chores, play outside and then only you get tablet - and guess what he will do everything so that he can get the tablet. It has also become a way to discipline him.  If he doesn't listen or misbehaves the time out or in other words tablet time out is the best awy to get him to listen and focus again. So its a blessing in disguise but I try to keep a tablet time out time. 

2) OVER EXPOSURE - 

The annoying thing about social media is too much exposure. Almost to the point where I start to wonder about our own lives - why dont i have 100 friends I can roam with or why not I look for more designer wear, or why dont I have those kind of outings and many parties to go to...the list is endless and as I kept wondering and thinking the more I realised i was getting ridiculous with my priorities. The social media has convinced us that unless we have that perfect life that we see the bloggers and fashionistas are living we are not living the best lifestyle. Somehow the SIMPLE life was for losers. ( The caps lock for some of the words is to emphasize them, done intentionally and not coz i hit the caps lock button by mistake)





3) TOO MUCH COMMUNICATION - 

The other aspect that really bothers me has been SMS or CHATTING feature that is available everywhere. Its like an overkill - take whatsapp, viber, Facebook,Instagram, twitter and various other platforms. They all have these free msging and call option now and that has become such a nightmare. I mean I used to use whatsapp a lot, and then I got added to some 10 groups and lost track of who and what was happening. All virtual conversations, there were lesser coffee meetups and chats and catch-ups and more chatting and writing things down on the phone. The laziness of everything, I looked forward to talking to my friends in person and social media has killed that fun. Off-late, it has gotten so out of hand.The turning point for me to quit whatsapp was when my msgs were screenshot and shared with others and my words were taken and twisted to suit someone elses agenda. Right. The conclusion was, there is no point expressing or being honest on social media platform - you are bond to be either misunderstood or used against you whatever you have said. 

4) CANT BE HONEST - 

For eg: even if you write the honest truth about the silliest thing like you didnt like someones dress and that can be taken and make someone feel totally out of line or maybe committed the crime of the century. So lesson learnt is simple - dont share your views. Trust me. Its not what people want to hear, even if people say that they wanna hear they dont. Its better to just keep your opinions to yourself.





5) RELATIONS ARE AFFECTED -

 I have just two levels to the way of communication - either I will reply and I am extremely direct and get things into the very face to face way. Otherwise, I would just choose to disconnect or go quiet it is just not worth it. The energies that you attract is most important. The moment you get into arguments or differences all the time, you will pull your energy down. I just dont want to end up spending time with focusing energy on the wrong aspect of life. I've always found that too much time online is exhausting and the blog is another thing I tend to take a break from to just getaway and do things my way. I love the feeling of spending time with people that matter and doing my own thing. 

6) PROVE A POINT - 

The other level that offlate I have seen which is annoying on social media is that crazy level of obsession to show off each ones lifestyle. It is also getting a place where the materialistic and show off is like the most annoying thing ever. Look, I am all for designer and having the grand looks and all...i love them myself to be honest. Just I feel everywhere I turn on the social sites there is a need to prove a better lifestyle, bigger stuff and having the grand life. If we focused more on the ability to reach out and help people I think that would be the most useful way of actually spending our time. 





I am not implying that there are only bad aspects, but I do love being there and connecting with people. I am just not very obsessed with the need to over share and over show what I am doing every single moment. I have started to post less, making it more about the experience. I have also started to only share my travel experiences and less about personal stuff. Just be off the grid has been so much fun too. More like I am disconnected from everything and feeling much better about it. No gossiping, no need to go on discussing people or whats happening in anyones life. The people who matter in my life, I talk to them once in a while or prefer to just meet up and thats the best way it should be. Before all this technology, we maintained better relations I felt because it was more face time ( and i dont mean apple face time lol - the actual one) It has taught me a lot to self reflect on what I have been doing and spend more time with people that matter as well. It has relaxed me more and i actually spend my time dong my yoga, going for walks, meetings and just enjoying my surroundings rather than my phone screen. 

The implications of this I have seen in my own family  on the phone all the time, or tablet and others on their laptop or other gadgets and it actually made me more aware to stay away from it more now. Rather than just keep them on, I have put screen and tablet time on my son now in a day - just specific time in a day where he can get the tablet and it has made him become more creative, play with his toys and games with us or his friends instead of tablet and I am relieved, he might end up with glasses at this rate too. So this is good! I would suggest you all to consider what implications too much of social media can do to your family and loved ones and reconsider its use. While it its being used well and correctly, otherwise it can become a total problem. 

Read article
Sunday, September 9, 2018

GUCCI STYLE

Sunday, September 9, 2018

GUCCI STYLE



Its been a while I did a luxury fashion post and decided to share one of my latest purchases. I will share a YouTube video post as well soon on my channel #fashionistaera and share some of my tips of how I select them. I must admit I did a lot of research and went through tons of videos on YouTube to really have the best experience of shopping online. One of the biggest problems today is there is so much information out there. People have so many weird experiences while they shop online and reading them it got me thinking on how to try to be cautious as well. It always helps to learn how to spot fakes, or which are the most reliable websites. I always love to read peoples reviews overall. Its good to get a sense of what experiences are being had online and then determine which websites to trust. 


  

I dont always follow what  bloggers and youtubers who are really popular share or suggest always. Some of them are sponsored and it can be just getting free items for them to highlight a website so its my preferred to read the reviews of customers and people who have bought products. Also try to review the products on your own and spot the issues.  I remember watching this youtuber who had a lot of followers and she was promoting one of the luxury sites. Somehow, I had a lot of issues with the site. Firstly, it was a international site so I would get custom and additional taxes for the products so I ruled this site out. The priority are luxury store in US, so I can save on those additional charges.  

Always try to prioritize the sites which provide you the maximum benefits. As I already mentioned, I make sure to review what have the customer experiences been. If the forums see  a lot of responses from the luxury site that would be really one of the things that I would like to review. They have genuine issues and if I see the sites that make the effort to actually respond to their customer issues like Yoogi's Closet I was really impressed. I think after really going through various gorgeous designer styles and products I finally decided to select my personal fave at the moment and its the gorgeous Gucci watch. I was looking for a nice gold and silver tone watch and in a small dial because my collection mostly has big dials and haven't otherwise tried anything else. 



The one thing I learnt in my experience is avoid rushing into picking up something. You might just find an item you are obsessed with and then feel its perfect but without checking its  details and verifying all the things you want.. Would always recommend to just about take your time. Once you are totally happy and satisfied then you will be happy with your purchase. I have regretted anytime I have rushed into things. I just about have returned anytime I have just did some random purchases that at the time looked so appealing. Hope this was helpful and happy shopping!! 



Read article
Saturday, August 4, 2018

LOYALTY

Saturday, August 4, 2018

LOYALTY




I think if there is one thing that I have learned about life is that we need to be able to look at the bigger picture. Most of the time I feel that things work better with the people who surround you. These are just my humble view points and doesnt in any account mean that it will work for everyone. We are constantly generating energies and its your choice what you want to do with these energies in your life. You have the choice to generate the right kind of energies and it isn't always easy. One of the most important things with time I have learnt is Loyalty. Making sure that there is loyalty between people that matter. You can look at how they have been in your life and if they have the right energies. I offlate have seen cutting off from negative people which has made it easier to manage my life. So what are the things to keep in mind to avoid being unloyal and here are some of my thoughts.

1) COMMUNICATION  

I cant stress on this enough. I know it sounds cliche but the most important thing is even if its work or even family and friends but there is always going to be the an essential part of any relationship. Being in touch, saying positive things and a relationship that is easy and works well. The biggest problem I have seen people have is there is either too much communication or too less. Not responding to calls or conversations or not keeping commitments to meet up or help your friend and not maintain those relationships. I have personally experienced friends come and go, mainly because I traveled so much from a very young age and its been those constant moves that has taught me to adjust to changes. In 8th grade I finally felt that I moved and settled down that I actually started to make great friends. I feel lucky that even now they are some of my best friends. Make it a habit to talk often and stay in touch, show that you care and ask your loved ones how they are doing from time to time. This doesnt mean you need to talk to every single person, just those few close people who matter the world to you and make you feel special. Dont lose out on those friendships they are some of the best and rarest and you should enjoy them. 








2) RESPECT 

Being flexible in relations is very important but there also needs to be boundaries that are set. I have tried to maintain is to respect the privacy and secrets of what has been shared with you. If you tend to share stories about your friends or family to others, thinking that it wouldn't go back to the person who shared it with you. However, it happened to me a couple of times where I have been guilty of sharing some stuff which I should have. And the one thing I did that when one of the situations got so out of hand that a silly joke I made went completely out of control and it did end up hurting some people. It did teach me a lesson though and I never decided to comment or joke about anyone after that. It took me a serious situation like that to make me realize how much I can affect relationships. I am grateful that I was able to learn it. 

3) GOSSIP 

One of the biggest problems in breaking loyalty is definitely gossip. In the last few years, the amount of drama that gossip generates has made me realize to completely get away from discussing people. The people who I know tend to gossip I literally have kept a rule now that I will not respond or comment on anything to do with other people's lives because that can happen to me. Would we be okay if people were talking bad about us behind our backs? Would it be okay to know how negative the comments were? Not just strangers but people we care about. I have really learnt to reduce this and have seen a huge difference in my life. The ability to prioritize what matters is the most important.  







4) ARGUMENTS 

Most common issue when relationships today is the lack of respect and leads to causing huge fights and breaks in relations. Constant arguments create not only negative energy and changes the atmosphere. It also spoils the relation and can break trust that you have build with the people you care about as well in your life. Disconnect from the situation or not respond to the negativity as you might regret whatever you might end up saying in the heat of the moment.Take a breath.
Disconnect and when things cool down talk about it. 
Most often it helps resolve the situation and we feel in a better state of mind.  

5) BLAMING OTHERS 

Owning up to a mistake goes a long way in building a bond and finding loyalty in any relationship. I often times try my best to ensure that I avoid the blame game. Its an easy trap to just hold someone else responsible for actions that cause problems. If you were involved in the issue, chances are you have a part to play so blaming the other person would just not be right. The more you own up and take account of the situation the more mature you come across. Always good to have the right attitude because most of the times that is whats missing in any relationship. 






The pictures are taken when I attended the Great Place to Work Conference in Chicago. It was amazing! Sorry for the clarity not being the best as I had my cell phone for the events a lot of the times. 
Read article
Friday, July 13, 2018

RIGHT ENERGIES

Friday, July 13, 2018

RIGHT ENERGIES


Paris has always been one of my dream destinations because of the Eiffel Tower. I always wanted to go there ever since my dad told me stories of his travels there and how beautiful it is. One of the most romantic cities after all. So finally arriving here was just a dream come true and I enjoyed my time with my family as well :) Its always good to get away sometimes and get your energy in place. I have seen how much time it takes for everyone to take time off and just get exhausted it really isnt worth the headache. Make sure you take time for yourself and are enjoying small joys in life. Another aspect I wanted to discuss about is how we tend to look at our lives and some things I have learnt about energies. It is so important how we spend our energies and how we use it. 


a) Like attracts like 

The law of physics really. If you guys haven't read the Secret book by Rhonda Byres you are really missing out. I agree at first its a bit deep and might not be your regular go to book but atleast this way you have an opportunity to explore the options.
 Like attracts like. Meaning, what you think about constantly or believe a lot, you will attract that. I have been trying hard to practice this when it gets me into a habit to keep critizing or just looking at the negative of a situation. Mainly because its comfortable to speak negative, talk bad, blame others. These are wrong we know it, but at the sametime it makes us feel good about ourselves. So its more effort to say good, do good and restrain from judging or forming opinions. We are also taught that having an opinion is good thing. Well not always. I prefer to give opinion if someone asks me. Otherwise trying to not have an opinion is a struggle I am sure most people have the way I do.

b) If you focus your energy on something you will attract that 

Energy isnt someting you can see, but feel. One of my biggest believes in my life is that we are surrounded by energy. We generate energy as well, so be careful when you choose your thoughts and energy. People who tend to be more negative you will see their health gets affected and they will tend to talk negative and always be criticizing. I have seen that most people have the attitude of thinking of themselves. The positive energy doesnt get created that way. The more you wish well for others and try to help others, the more positive energy you generate and improve the situation for yourself. The more you decide to not help or be to yourself, you are not building the framework of improving and having good energy. You are attracting more negative energy as well. I have seen the situation change and become more positive for me when I have reached out to people. Even when I have donated in the past, i have seen money come back to me. The energy just works like that and I love it that way.




c) Tides do change 

There have been moments I have felt stuck. In my personal life and professional. Its very normal. You might be doing what you love and yet sometimes feel that you are not getting to a higher place or doing better. So keeping yourself motivated is key. I have personally had to work on this because I want to try to keep achieving a lot of things. Taking a decision to take break from my work career was the biggest, but it has also resulted in me being really found that change a huge problem. I always was on the go but after a certain point, I would try my best to be able to work and get things done. So I shifted my mindset. Always try and remember things dont always remain the same. It is moving and changing. That boss who annoys you, your friend who just doesnt listen to you or care. Most of the people either move on to another role place, your boss might disappear or your friend might change too. So dont let that bring you down. The more you let the external affect it will...and the tide will change. So in the meanwhile, my motto has been 'Suck it up' lol...not the best quote but just remember that those moments when y ou feel the lowest, there will be a better day soon and be hopeful and focus for it. In the meanwhile, keep doing what you need to do to make things happen for you.

d) Thankful

 - I know this is something I have done. When I have had moments of gratitude and for things that I have in my life. That is a good way to be thankful. I have also looked at getting like a bulletin board (you get it dirt cheap on any online websites) and put pictures up things you are thankful for and also things that you want to achieve.







e) You are only as good as your words

I have always believed what my dad taught me, which was its important to be able to express your self and how you do that is very imp. The words we use is probably most critical. I remember having an issue when people had an opinion about me. It was about me or my weight or my personal life....how they had an opinion about all of that and I felt that was just ridiculous. However, I never responded or tell what I felt. Looking back I feel I wish I could have spoken. That I had said that they dont have a right to share their view or I had not asked their opinion. Politely of course. Sometimes silence is taken as weakness and other times its the best. I have always regretted if I did react. So if I did, I tried my best to correct it. That is very essential, and not repeat it. Actions speak louder than words, but I feel words are probably more harmful than actions.

Read article
Sunday, February 18, 2018

HANDLING DRAMA

Sunday, February 18, 2018

HANDLING DRAMA




Drama is something that will follow you no matter what you do. Growing up I always liked to keep myself busy, if it was work or school or just even being a housewife. I have seen the statements and the remarks that just being a housewife is nothing more than taking care of the house and sitting around. I chose to never bother, I enjoyed travelling the world with my family and spending time with my kid and taking in the many gorgeous moments of motherhood. It gave me immense happiness and I think its one of the best decisions to take a break to enjoy the moments of life. These are the moments that will never come back no matter how much money you make, some joys cant be measured. 




1) Ignore the noise

There will always be people who have a lot of opinions. Its normal and accepted. I would be surprised if we didn't do anything that is better than you. Dont let it overpower you, that is what those noises want. They are just that noises, not real words or meaning. Be very selective whos words you want to listen to. They should be people you trust and who are there for you always. They need to be in your confidence and their opinions should matter. Dont let anything else take over. Always believe in what you are doing and dont get derailed by the gossip or bad talk. The more I have ignored that drama and noise the more focus and time you have for your purpose in life. We end up spending so much time worrying what people have to say. If we just redirected all that energy for our betterment we would be able to achieve so much more. 



2) Ground rules 

If the person continues to try to annoy you, set clear ground rules that gives the msg the person wont repeat it with you. Discontinue talking, or attending events with them and essentially avoiding them. Make sure that you are setting boundaries around who you want to trust and listen to as well. Respect yourself enough to make sure that if someone breaks your trust or decides to gossip about you and insult you then you step away from that person and put them in their place. There is nothing worse than the putting up with someone who will sabotage your peace of mind. 




                                                                          3) Distract yourself 

Put on some music, read your fav book, laugh with friends, see your favorite shows..anything that gets you away from the drama. Keeping yourself busy with work, routine and getting a hobby is a fun way to drive the drama away. I always try to keep a routine during the week so that I am doing busy things.  Try to read positive books or listen to motivation speakers to better myself. The more time I see people spending on drama and gossip I just dont understand why would they want to drain their energy.



                                                                                       4) Be Polite 
You dont need to cause a scene to get away from person. The classier approach always works best for your peace of mind. Just be courteous if you find yourself in a situation again with the drama situation and politely move away. There is always a choice in how we deal with situations. When there are tough spots you feel stuck in, then there's confrontation for you, just being polite and respectful is most important. Otherwise if you react and fight, you are affecting your own peace of mind. 




           5) Evaluate yourself

At the end of the day, it will always seem that we have the right to express and respond on people views but the more we spend time worrying about it and wasting our time it will result in more drama. The most important thing in life has been to be able to appreciate people views who you really think can help you improve. So sometimes things happen and you might face negative situations to feel better about yourself but then at the end of the day it still has to  make you happy. Look at helping people and do it with dignity for yourself too! 


Read article
Powered by Blogger.