#2 Seat of the Soul - My eye opener

Today, I am eager to share nourishment for the soul. While my blog has showcased a myriad of topics, from fashion and celebrity gossip to travel experiences, I now want to delve into the spiritual realm—a facet that profoundly fuels and sustains me. My journey into this realm began during my college days when Oprah Winfrey introduced me to Gary Zukav and his transformative book, 'Seat of the Soul.' This literary gem has left an indelible mark on my life, with Oprah herself deeming it one of her all-time favorites. In 'Seat of the Soul,' Gary Zukav encourages readers to transcend the conventional archetype of marriage, steering towards what he terms a "spiritual partnership." Traditional marriages, he asserts, often revolve around shared survival goals while maintaining emotional distance. However, the spiritual partnership he advocates goes beyond mere religious beliefs, emphasizing a shared commitment to something greater.

The book opened my eyes to the profound impact of my actions and the intentions behind them. I realized that merely uttering positive words or wishing well wasn't enough; true transformation hinged on the authenticity of my emotions and intentions. This revelation prompted a reassessment of my life, exposing the superficiality that had unknowingly seeped into my interactions. One significant change I implemented was embracing radical honesty. I started being genuine and direct, even if it meant discomfort or losing some connections. The result was liberating—I shed the burden of impressing others, felt lighter, and consciously chose authenticity over a façade. 'Seat of the Soul' guided me toward a more authentic life, free from the need for external validations.

Gary Zukav emphasizes that the energy dynamic in a spiritual partnership differs significantly from a traditional marriage. Understanding oneself—emotions, thoughts, fears, and loves—becomes the cornerstone of this partnership. It challenges the notion of finding a soulmate to 'complete' you, asserting that only you can fulfill your completeness. For those aspiring to a fulfilling relationship, Gary underscores the need to create it actively, steering away from unrealistic expectations. A spiritual partnership goes beyond material comfort, requiring commitment, compassion, courage, and conscious communication. Intention, Gary contends, plays a pivotal role in shaping one's life—whether rooted in fear or love. To discern the nature of your relationship, Gary suggests reflecting on your initial intentions and being brutally honest about its current state. Are you in a spiritual partnership? The answer lies in your commitment, compassion, courage, and communication. Gary envisions couples redirecting their focus inward, mirroring Oprah's transformative experience in 1989 after reading 'Seat of the Soul.' Oprah attests, "[The book] has been the single greatest force in changing the way I saw the world and saw myself," highlighting the profound impact of understanding the principle of intention on her life.

"The energy dynamic itself is very different in a traditional marriage than it is in a spiritual partnership," Gary says. The spiritual partnership, Gary says, does not necessarily require religious belief, but does require people who work together for "something more." "In practical terms, we're talking about getting to know yourself—getting to know what you're feeling, what you're thinking, what you're intending, what your fears are, and what your loves are," Gary says. "That is, what it means while you're walking on the earth."  In a recent Oprah.com poll, 60 percent of respondents said they believe in the idea of each person having one soul mate who has the ability to "complete" you—like Tom Cruise's line from the movie Jerry Maguire. "That's a myth and if you think about it, you'll see it for yourself," Gary says. "Only you can complete yourself. No one can complete you for you." Gary says that if your marriage is solely based on the "dynamic of romantic attachment"—that your partner has the exclusive ability to complete you—you will be disappointed when the "honeymoon phase" passes. "You begin to see, eventually, that all of your expectations that you put on someone else were unrealistic," he says. 

A spiritual partnership, Gary says, strives for more than just marital vows to provide material comfort. "If you want to have the kind of relationship that your heart yearns for, you have to create it. You can't depend on somebody else creating it for you," Gary says. The key to understanding the current state of your relationship—whether it is or is not a spiritual partnership—is to look to your past. Gary suggests asking what your real intention was when you entered your relationship. "If what you're experiencing in the present is painful, you can look at what you did to create it," Gary says. "Once you make that connection, then you can begin to create differently by making different choices." Gary says your intention is what makes all the difference in what your life will be like. "What gifts do you want to give to the world? What is your potential? Why are you on the Earth?" he says. "You have a reason—fulfill it." 

 Why should intention matter in your life? "Someone may want to make more money so they can buy a more impressive car so they can feel better about themselves. Or, we have a friend at home who works three jobs because his wife has a potentially life-threatening illness and he doesn't have health insurance. These are vastly different intentions," Gary says. "One is based in fear—the feeling of inadequacy and the need to impress others with a car, with a home. The other is based purely in love." Are you in a spiritual partnership? The first step to finding out, Gary says, is to write down five words that describe your marriage. If you're not married, describe the relationship that you're in right now.  Be as honest as you can—don't write down words that describe what you wish it would be. Ask your partner to do the same thing. "It will start a very interesting conversation," Oprah says.

According to Gary, spiritual partnerships have four main requirements—commitment, compassion, courage and conscious communication. Gary hopes that couples everywhere will stop looking outward and begin looking inward...like Oprah did back in 1989 after reading his book Seat of the Soul. "[That book] has been the single greatest force in changing the way I saw the world and saw myself," Oprah says. "For the first time in my life, I understood how my intentions were creating my reality. ... When I learned that principle of the intention, it changed the way I operated my entire life."